Q&A: Am I wrong to not want to travel for Christmas?
Question by justmee_333: Am I wrong to not want to travel for Christmas?
I am in a spot with my family. First, a bit of background. My partner of 20 years and I split a few months ago and our daughter and I moved into a new house. I had wanted to spend our first Christmas here. My brother and sister wanted to come over for a day. Well, I work 50-60 hours/week and am still trying deal with where to put stuff in a place that’s about 1/3 the size we’d been in. I decided I just couldn’t get it pulled together here.
My sister, who has no children, lives an hour away from me. I was hoping we could have it there, but my brother, whose children are grown, instead said it will now be at his house which is several hours out of state. Our sister has too many housepets for his liking, and his home is a veritable mansion.
Personally, I don’t want to do this traveling. My daughter is gone for 3 days on the opposite end of the state with her dad’s family. The brakes are going on my car, and I can’t get them fixed in time. Where we live is experiencing deadly cold and storms all week. I don’t think it’s safe for me to travel. Plus daughter would have approximately 1 hour to unpack and repack, then be on the road for hours again. She doesn’t want to travel any more either. Like me, she’d wanted to spend our first Christmas at our house, together.
I mentioned this to my sister last night and she blew a gasket, hurling all sorts of insults and names my way. I would love to see my siblings, but the thought of all the travel is completely taking any joy out of the season. Am I really being that unreasonable to want to spend my first Christmas as a single parent at home with my child, who wants the same?
Forgot to add that we’ve also been dealing with frozen water pipes, and I’m afraid to leave the place unattended for 2-3 days. If the pipes burst, the results will be devastating. There are no neighbors that will be around that would be able to check the place for me.
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Answer by ??MCR??
too long to read akkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
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stay home your sister is bad tempered and unreasonable let her come and help you if she want sto see you
Some people. Your post wasn’t too long to read at all. I don’t blame you at all. I was invited to my cousin’s house and he lives almost two hours away. I just don’t feel like traveling this year and he understood that. I am married with kids and so is he. In my husband’s family we celebrate Christmas Eve together plus it’s my son’s birthday so we are up very late on Christmas Eve. Luckily we only have to travel 15 minutes to get to Christmas Eve. I want an easy and relaxing day on Christmas. My mother-in-law is going to have my husband, kids, and I at her house. It will just be the six of us. I am so excited. It is going to be so relaxing and she lives less than ten minutes away. If I had to travel anywhere I wouldn’t go. You sister is being really unreasonable. Maybe she is hurt that she won’t see you and if she figures that if she gives you a hard time you will change your mind. Don’t. Don’t let people manipulate you. Your sister should accept your decision. Enjoy Christmas at home with your daughter. I hope that you have a really great day. Christmas is just one day in the year. You have all year to see your siblings and your sister should realize and understand that.
If your sister had that much of an issue with it, to the point of being hurtful toward you, then maybe it’s best for you and your daughter to have a nice, quiet Christmas at home, with each other.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, I just think it’s a shame that things didn’t work out better for you guys – and especially that your family would get so upset about it.
You’ve given many legitimate reasons for wanting to stay close to home, and if your siblings don’t understand that, then maybe this year you should bow out of the family gathering, and just enjoy the time with your daughter. There will be other Christmases for you all to be together.
Whatever you decide, have a Merry Christmas! And stay warm!
Your not wrong. I would explain everything to your sister and brother and if they don’t get it to bad. I have siblings and there comes a time when you just have to disappoint them. If they love you they should understand and you should tell them that too. As for the pipes I would get that looked at as soon a possible. You can’t leave them, unless you want a swimming pool for a house. We learned that from experience.
its ok for you to want to spend christmas in your new home. your family should understand. it makes sense for you to stay home you need to make your new house a home. this is the perfect time to put that special touch on your home. make some memories.
Think about a nice phone call and car to give to them. your sister should be understanding of this, your in a new house want to spend time with your daughter and if you leave your risking devastating damages to your home.
If they feel so angry for it maybe they should visit you around this time. maybe find a mid point where you could all go out for a nice dinner. you can rent out a resturant for a party of people and have a nice dinner. if you have a large family you can get a nice discount on a place.
since you cant do christmas with them, think about maybe celebrating new years with them. My family and I have a holiday in feburary, we just spend some time and hang out. arragange another time to meet you could even exchange gifts then
No, I think that if your family members can’t understand or take the time to understand why you feel the way you do, then that’s their problem. The fact that your daughter wants to spend your first Christmas together at your new house is a sign that you should most definitely stay home and not travel – you are not being unreasonable at all! If your siblings know why you don’t want to travel and are upset with you for choosing to stay home – then *they* are the ones being unreasonable. If anything, they should be understanding and compassionate given all the things you’ve been through this year and are currently going through (not to mention they are homeowners too and should understand about frozen pipes and the caution you need to take regarding them!). Unless they have other [very valid and good] reasons why they are upset with you for not wanting to travel to see them, it’s probably best that you don’t see them as you may carry a sense of resentment towards them if you end up going to see them out of guilt and familial pressure. Maybe you can offer to visit them at New Year’s (or some other future time) when the weather is better and your pipes are no longer a potential issue. Christmas isn’t the only time families are allowed to gather… There’s enough pressure this time of year coming from all other sorts of areas in your life, you need to do what will make you and your daughter happy… Good luck and have a wonderful holiday season!
No, you are not being unreasonable at all! After all that you have just been through, you deserve a break to spend some quality time with just your daughter, and your siblings should be understanding enough to sympathize. However, if they are getting offended, explain to them clearly why you cannot go to your brother’s house (frozen pipes, too much work, limited packing time etc.)
If they threaten to throw a fit, and you absolutely must go, then try to talk to your ex’s family to see if your daughter can leave their home a bit earlier so that she has more packing time. This is Christmas, a time to be happy and to get together with family, but if currently the only family you want to see is your daughter, that’s fine too, as long as you are both happy.
Good luck and Merry Christmas!